[Guest Post] अस्तित्व

अस्तित्व

मेरे होने से, न होने से,
मेरे खोने से, मेरे मिल जाने से …
राह पर पड़े हुए,
खोटे सिक्के जैसे ,
धीमें - धीमेँ , घिस - घिस कर ,
ओझल हो जाने से …

मरुधर में गर्द जैसे
दिख कर भी न दिख पाने से
समंदर में,
एक मामुली बूँद जैसे
लहरों का हिस्सा बन
बार -बार  टकराने से …
परवानों जैसे,
रात भर,
दिये पर मंडराकर,
भस्म हो जाने से …
जीने -मरने की इस बहस में ,
शब्दों को बेमतलब बिखराने से …

हर पल यूँ मर-मर कर,
इन किल्लतों में बिताने से,
क्या भला न होगा इस हयात का,
मेरे मर जाने से …

रिश्तों की इन उलझनों में ,
घुट -घुट कर सांसें चुराने से ,
उम्र भर का समझा हो जिन्हे ,
उनके बिना उम्र गुज़ारने से…
खुद की जहाँ कद्र ही न हो,
ऐसे रिश्तों को निभाने से,
गुज़रे लम्हों को जो भुला चुका हो,
याद कर उसे, दिल दुखाने से …
हर आरज़ू की,
एक कब्र बनाने से,
क्या भला न होगा इस हयात का,
मेरे मर जाने से …

विश्वास न था जिनको मुझपर ,
की क़द्र कभी नहीं
जिन्होने मेरे अरमानोंकी
प्यार था कितना मुझमें
आज क्यों न दिखलाऊँ मैं

था कितना सच मुझमें
अंत कर अपना, सबको बतलाऊँ मैं
क्यों था इतना व्याकुल,
मेरी वफ़ा की हद थी कितनी,
अपनी ही आहूति दे समझाऊँ मैं …

बस एक कदम की दूरी है ,
इस होने और न होने में ,
अंतिम सवाल है बस अब खुदसे ,
क्या बचा है कुछ इस जीने में?

आगे बढ़ने का है दृढ़ संकल्प,
और कहीं ये मंशा भी,
आ पड़े हाथ किसी का,
आज मेरे काँधे पे …

हुआ अरसा पर याद है मुझे ,
माँ ने ये समझाया था…
हसना और रोना,
दो पहलू हैं इस जीवन के,
जब हो उलझन मन में,
शांत हो, खुद को बस इतना समझाना,
कोई रात बिन सुबह बीती नहीं,
और कोई दिन नहीं जो ढला नहीं …

सींच-सींच कर जाने कितनों ने,
एक नन्हे पौधे को
विशाल वृक्ष बनाया है,
आज खुद से पूछ रहा वो
खड़ा रहूँ या गिर जाऊँ …
फल न आ पाने का ग़म है मुझे,
पर फिर क्यों न छाया ही बिखराऊँ …


ऐसा भी क्या लोभ है ये,
किसी का कुछ बन जाने का
क्यों न इस जीवन को अपने
एक नया मतलब सिखलाऊँ …
जब ठानी ही है
खुद को ख़त्म करने की
क्यों न इस “मैं” को ख़त्म कर
जीवन अपना दुसरों पर लुटाऊँ …

याद है अब भी मुझे
छुटपन में
जब पापा ने साइकल सिखाई थी
जाने कितनी बार गिरा था
जाने कितनी चोटें आईं थी
ज़िद पे तो लेकिन अपनी भी आयी थी
हाथ छोड़ कर साइकिल उन्हें चला दिखाईथी …

जानें कितनी राहों पर चलकर,
आज यहाँ खड़ा हूँ मैं
कितने ही मोड़ आये-गये,
जाने कितनी मुश्किलों ने आजमाईश की,
फिर आज मुझे क्या सूझा ये ,
क्यों ये नौबत आई है,
दिल छोड़ दिया क्यों आज
क्यों ये मायूसी छाई है …

ऐसा भी नहीं की,
दिल नहीं रहा अब सीने में,
या धड़कन बंद हुई है मेरी,
सांसें चल रहीं हैं अब भी,
बस गर्माहट की कमी है शायद …

सपने तो और भी
देखें है इन आँखों ने
आरज़ुएँ तो अब भी
बहुत हैं बाकी इस दिल में

इस पर्वत फिर उस पर्वत
कितनी शिखाएं अभी बाकी हैं
दिल टुटा है , लेकिन
जिस्म में खून अभी बाकी है

आज खुद को समेट कर
एक बार फिर कुछ करने की ठानी है
इसके लिए, न उसके लिए,
आज खुद के लिए जीने की ठानी है …

इसे , उसे, या किसी को क्यों,
आज खुद को खुद पर गर्व करने की बारी है …

~ गर्व से गौरव.

Disclaimer: This is a guest post by one of my friends. All copyright is held by the author. Posted here with permission. 

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